Lymphomalife.net - Carers are not alone

Carers are not alone

It’s not unusual to feel guilty about having concerns and worries of your own at a time when your partner, friend or relative is having to deal with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma.

But there is no reason for you to feel like this.

It is also quite common to feel isolated and alone when you are concentrating on caring for someone who is ill, especially if you can’t maintain the social network you had before your partner, friend or relative became ill.
However, you are not alone. There are a number of sources of support for carers. The lymphoma team at the specialist clinic, your family doctor, or the patient’s family doctor will all be able to offer advice.
There are also many organisations and support groups both locally and nationally that can offer practical and emotional help.

You can even share your story, and read those of patients with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma and their carers on Lymphoma Life.

Finding support if you’re caring for someone with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma

Stories of carers looking after people with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma

Stories of patients with indolent non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma

Stories of patients with aggressive non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma

The importance of self-care

Many carers spend so much time and effort looking after the needs of the person with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma that they neglect to look after themselves properly. Sometimes, carers may also feel guilty about taking time out for themselves, as if they are letting their friend, relative or partner down.

It is important to remember that there is no reason for you to feel guilty about looking after your own health. You can’t possibly give the best care to someone else when you are physically exhausted or emotionally drained.
If you are not well, make sure that you see the doctor, even though it may be tempting to treat your own illness as less important. And make sure that you eat well and get plenty of sleep.

Also, spend time with people other than the person you are caring for. Take time out each day to have a break, by going to the shops, going for a walk, reading a book or keeping up a hobby or class.

Don’t feel you should be doing everything for your partner, relative or friend yourself. If you feel you need extra help, then don’t be afraid to ask for it. Remember, other friends or family members may be too shy to offer, and are simply waiting for you to ask. Accepting the help of friends or family could be really valuable to you.

For example, you should try and arrange for another friend of the patient, or another member of his or her family, to ’stand in’ for you now and again. This will give you some time for yourself, or time to take a well-earned holiday.